Communication Skills: Become A Superstar Communicator

Udemy – Communication Skills: Become A Superstar Communicator
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Genre: Personal Development / Influence | Language: English | +Project Files

Win Friends and Enlarge Your Social Circles With This Complete Guide To Transforming Your Communication Skills. Communication is a critical skill for almost everything we do. Whether you’re speaking to another person, addressing a group or even giving a formal presentation, confident communicators will often enjoy more fulfilling relationships with others.

Effective communication is a key interpersonal skill and by learning how to continuously improve ourselves in this area, you can expect an unlimited range of long term benefits.
Throughout the course you will learn how to:

    [*]Communicate your message with more clarity, emphasis and persuasion.

    [*]Make your communications more specific.

    [*]Use negativity and rejection to your advantage.

    [*]Communicate your own goals more concisely with other people.

    [*]Ask more effective questions that earn better responses.

    [*]Speak in more engaging and optimistic terms.

    [*]Give constructive feedback that earns you greater respect.

    [*]Seek solutions to problems and be of greater value to others.

    [*]Express your ideas and opinions with far greater confidence.

    [*]Distinguish between ‘facts’, ‘feelings’, ‘opinions’ and ‘Truth’

When we become competent communicators, we see improvements in the effectiveness of almost everything that we do. This enjoyably engaging course presents a wide range of key communication principles that will allow you to begin communicating more clearly and confidently throughout all areas of your life.
You will discover new strategies more effective listening, for asking more insightful questions and also for interpreting the non-verbal signals of others. Upon completion, you’ll have all the insights you need for communicating with more clarity, confidence and persuasiveness.

What are the requirements?

    [*]Students are asked to write down an associated action, for each point made – so a notebook and pen will be required.

    [*]If you are going to become an effective communicator then it will mean you’ll have to change the way you behave and interact with others, so a willingness to action new information is required.

What am I going to get from this course?

    [*]Over 63 lectures and 5.5 hours of content!

    [*]Communicate a message in a way that is clear, concise and embraced by others.

    [*]Fully understand and connect with other people in more effective ways.

    [*]Transfer your ideas, information and emotions into the minds of others, without any errors.

    [*]Get the best possible results from interviews, discussions and important meetings of all kinds.

    [*]Avoid the pitfalls and costs of badly worded messages and unnecessary mis-understandings.

    [*]Present information in a way that it’s meaning can be clearly understood by others.

    [*]Ask more effective questions that provoke honest and more truthful responses.

    [*]Communicate to others with more clarity, confidence and persuasiveness.

    [*]Understand how to communicate better and also recognise why some communication breaks down.

What is the target audience?

    [*]Individual contributors, Managers, Team leaders, whose success depends on their ability to communicate clearly, to be understood and to influence how another person performs, and create positive working relationships.

    [*]This course has been designed as a practical tool for helping professionals, such as therapists, counselors, psychologists, teachers, and group leaders.

    [*]Course content is ideally suited to men & women who want to communicate more effectively with their partners (or even attract a new partner for a relationship)

    [*]If you sometimes feel frustrated because you can’t verbalise exactly what you want to say: if you want people to really listen to you and understand you, then this course is right for you.

Section 1: Become A Highly Confident Super-Communicator
Lecture 1 Introducing The Course 04:01
Effective communication skills play a crucial role to becoming successful in virtually every area of life.
Most jobs require strong communication skills, and strong communicators will often enjoy more fulfilling relationships with others. It is a key interpersonal skill and by learning how to continuously improve ourselves in this area, you can expect an unlimited range of long term benefits.Throughout the course you will learn how to:

    [*]Communicate your message with more clarity, emphasis and persuasion.

    [*]Make your communications more specific.

    [*]Use negativity and rejection to your advantage.

    [*]Communicate your own goals more concisely with other people.

    [*]Ask more effective questions that earn better responses.

    [*]Speak in more engaging and optimistic terms.

    [*]Give constructive feedback that earns you greater respect.

    [*]Seek solutions to problems and be of greater value to others.

    [*]Express your ideas and opinions with far greater confidence.

    [*]Distinguish between ‘facts’, ‘feelings’, ‘opinions’ and ‘Truth’

Being able to get your message across is an essential skill for all of us to develop. This high impact course presents a range of key communication principles that will enable you to communicate more clearly and confidently. You will discover new strategies more effective listening, for asking more insightful questions and also for interpreting the non-verbal signals of others.
Upon completion, you’ll have all the insights you need for communicating with more clarity, confidence and persuasiveness.

Lecture 2 The Basics: The 3 Commandments of Super Communications 06:13
Communication is a critical skill for almost everything we do.
Whether you’re speaking to another person or to a group, giving a formal presentation, you’re putting your communication skills to work. And rightly or wrongly, your arguments and ideas have a much greater impact if they’re presented well than if they’re presented poorly. Poor communication makes an impact – but not the impact that was hoped for!
No matter how good we are – or think we are – at communicating, most of us can benefit from paying regular attention to this. When we keep our communication skills in absolutely tip top condition, we see improvements in the effectiveness of almost everything we do.

Lecture 3 Defining Superficiality 02:13
Most of us will spend our lives on the surface of things. We’ll go miles long but only inches deep.
This is easy to do. I find myself doing it all the time. Checking Twitter instead of reading. Watching some Netflix instead of engaging in conversation with my wife.
And that’s how most of us go through life. We exercise our brains for work or school perhaps, but rarely in the context of our interactions with others.
Superficiality has been referred to as the ‘curse of our age’. Peoples greatest need today isn’t for more intelligent people or talented people, but it is for deep people.
Intelligence surrounds us. Knowledge is readily available to more people than ever in history. However, few people choose to go miles deep and inches long.

Lecture 4 Self Awareness: Getting In The ‘Know’ 07:43
In this lecture we’ll look at getting to know ourselves slightly better before we begin to consider communicationg more effectively with others.

Lecture 5 Brick Walls: Recognising Communication Barriers 05:50
There are many reasons why interpersonal communications may fail.
In many communications, the message (what is said) may not be received exactly the way the sender intended. It is, therefore, important that the communicator seeks feedback to check that their message is clearly understood.
In this lecture we will explore the greatest barrier to effective communications and how we can address this efficiently and with relative ease.

Lecture 6 Hearing V’s Listening 04:59
Learn to Listen
Listening is not the same as hearing; learn to listen not only to the words being spoken but how they are being spoken and the non-verbal messages sent with them.
Use the techniques of clarification and reflection to confirm what the other person has said and avoid any confusion.
Try not to think about what to say next whilst listening; instead clear your mind and focus on the message being received. Your friends, colleagues and other acquaintances will appreciate good listening skills.

Quiz 1 Listening Skills Quiz 7 questions
Section 2: The Prerequisites For Open Communications
Lecture 7 The Art of Mind Control 05:30
As it happens, mind control is possible. Sort of.
No, you can’t turn your customers, partners, and in-laws into mindless zombies, but you can influence them.
In fact, there’s a science to it!

Lecture 8 WORKSHEET 1: Self Assessment 1 page
Before you move on in the course, take some time and write down the ways in which you would like to improve your communications and interactions with other people. For example, what are some situations that you would like to change with a new set of communication skills?
In this exercise, try to find 10 different situations in your life where more effective communication skills might start to come in useful:

Lecture 9 Body Language & Self Image 06:01
Non-verbal communication is often subtle which can include body language, tonality & even self image.
In this video we’ll discuss why non-verbal communication is so important.

Lecture 10 Breaking Down Our Communications 01:55
In this video we’ll break down exactly what healthy communications are – and also what they’re not!
Did you know that Communication is:

    [*]7% WORDS (What You Say)

    [*]38% TONALITY (How You Say it)

    [*]55% PHYSIOLOGY (How You Conduct Yourself)

So, in order to give ourselves the best possible chance of being acknowledged by others . let’s quickly address our Physiology!

Lecture 11 Operation: Heart and Minds 05:57
Winning hearts and minds is a concept occasionally expressed in the resolution of war, insurgency, and other conflicts, in which one side seeks to prevail not by the use of superior force, but by making emotional or intellectual appeals to sway supporters of the other side.
Both the British & American forces applied operation hearts and minds during the 2003 invasion of Iraq. The belief behind this operation was that ‘If you can win over people’s hearts, they will freely give you their minds’.
If we consider this ‘hearts and minds’ approach to communicating in the context of our relationships, you might be able to see that people do not always want to be engaged with on an intellectual level (their minds), but are often more receptive to being engaged with on an emotional level (hearts).

Lecture 12 WORKSHEET 2: Learning From The Past 1 page
Think of one or more conversations in your life that went badly. Imagine how the conversations might have gone better if you’d known how to action more active & responsive listening.
In this exercise, use the space below to write down an alternative version of how this conversation could have went.

Lecture 13 Understanding The Halo Effect 10:05
The halo effect can influence how teachers treat students, but it can also impact how students perceive teachers. In one study, researchers found that when an instructor was viewed as warm and friendly, students also rated him as more attractive, appealing, and likeable.
Marketers take advantage of the halo effect to sell products and services. When a celebrity spokesperson endorses a particular item, our positive evaluations of that individual can spread to our perceptions of the product itself.
Job applicants are also likely to feel the impact of the halo effect. If a prospective employer views the applicant as attractive or likeable, they are more likely to also rate the individual as intelligent, competent, and qualified.
So, the next time you trying to make an evaluation of another person, whether it is deciding which political candidate to vote for or which movie to see on a Friday night, consider how your overall impressions of an individual might influence your evaluations of other characteristics. Does your impression of a candidate being a good public speaker lead you to feel that she is also smart, kind, and hard-working? Does thinking that a particular actor is good-looking also lead you to think that he is also a compelling actor?
Being aware of the halo effect, however, does not make it easy to avoid its influence on our perceptions and decisions.

Lecture 14 Trust: The Prerequisite For open Communications 10:48
Most people will agree that trust is an important element in their friendships.
But what does “trust” mean? And why is it important in our communications with others?
This is what we’ll be exploring throughout this video.

Lecture 15 The Difference Between Monologue & Dialogue 03:39
Knowing the difference between monologue and dialogue is very important if you are intending on improving the current quality of your interactions with others.
A dialogue is when there are two or more people who engage in a conversation. A monologue, on the other hand, is where a single person speaks out. In this sense, the major difference between a dialogue and monologue is in the number of speakers.
A monologue has only a single speaker but in a dialogue there is two or more. Unlike in a monologue, in a dialogue there is an exchange of thoughts and ideas. This video attempts to highlight the difference between these two terms while explaining the two terms, monologue and dialogue.

Lecture 16 The Levels & Stages of Relationship 11:51
One reason is that relationships go through 5 predictable relationship stages, each building on the last.
By understanding the 5 stages of relationship, you can be better prepared to navigate through each stage successfully and not get “stuck” in any of them.
Understanding this will also emphasis the importance of well considered and effective communications.

Lecture 17 The Levels & Stages of Trust 04:18
Trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
We treat trust like it’s a mystical, undefinable concept, but it’s actually very concrete. I believe this simple explanation of the process of building trust can be a helpful tool for you to measure the current trust in your relationship and also to understand how to take trust to a deeper level.
Stronger trust always creates stronger relationships, and stronger relationships are always developed through effective communications.
TRUST defined: “Trust is a choice to be available, vulnerable and transparent in a relationship, because the person you’re trusting has proven worthy of your partnership through consistency in their honesty, integrity and dependability.”

Lecture 18 Foundations For Authentic Communication 05:18
Practice being slow to form an opinion of someone or something. If something grabs your attention, research it thoroughly before making any conclusions. This is very wise approach to life.
“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
We can fall into the trap of so earnestly wanting to get our point across, we forget to listen to the person we are speaking to. And even when we listen, how often do we really seek to understand? If you find you have issues understanding those around you, slow down and try to truly understand:

    [*]Where they are coming from.

    [*]What they are going through.

    [*]What is their motivation for doing something.

    [*]What they need or want from you.

Obviously, the answers to these questions vary greatly depending on who you are having communication trouble with. Be objective as you listen, as if you were a detective trying to solve the case, and don’t take anything personally.
Once you feel like you understand someone, then you can genuinely “seek to be understood.”

Lecture 19 Foundations for Authentic Trust 01:47
Trust is never guaranteed, and it can’t be won overnight.
Trust must be carefully constructed, vigorously nurtured, and constantly reinforced. Trust is established over time, gradually, through a long chain of successful experiences. This video explores how to build trust.
Building trusting relationships is a process that can best be described as stacking layers on a foundation one at a time in such a way that each layer bonds on top of the prior one before another layer is added.

Lecture 20 Understanding Human Needs 07:27
As human beings, we all have a set of core basic needs.
Everyone is motivated by something, whether this is building a business, getting married, raising a family, traveling the world or whatever. There are six basic, universal needs that make us tick and drive all human behaviour.
Upon growing to understand these needs, we can better understand how to communicate in a way that will influence others in more effective ways.

Lecture 21 Understanding People Types 08:29
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Gustav Jung
In Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), meta-programs are the keys to the way you process information. They’re basically how you form your internal representations and direct your behaviour.
Knowing how people work helps to bridge gaps in our communications. It can also lead you to self-understanding and the better you know yourself, the better you can drive yourself.
The people types I will introduce you to in this video are:

    [*]Toward or Away From People

    [*]External or Internal Referencers

    [*]Matcher or Mismatcher

    [*]Global or Detailed Thinkers

    [*]ProActive or ReActive

Section 3: Core Communication Skills
Lecture 22 Introducing Core Communication Skills 02:01
Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication.
Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said – the language used – but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures and body language.
When two or more people are in the same place and are aware of each other’s presence, then communication is taking place, no matter how subtle or unintentional.
Without speech, an observer may be using cues of posture, facial expression, and dress to form an impression of the other’s role, emotional state, personality and/or intentions. Although no communication may be intended, people receive messages through such forms of non-verbal behaviour.

Lecture 23 The Importance of Appropriate Emphasis 03:52
Your voice says a lot about you & learning how to use it effectively has many benefits.
Our Effective Speaking page examines aspects of your voice, accent, tone, pitch, volume and encourages you to learn more about your voice and how you use it to its full potential.
Learn to communicate more dynamically, fluently and with passion and enthusiasm.

Lecture 24 EXERCISE: Practicing Emphasis 02:51
Emphasis: ˈɛmfəsɪs/ noun
1. special importance, value, or prominence given to something.”they placed great emphasis on the individual’s freedom”synonyms:prominence, importance, significance;
2. stress given to a word or words when speaking to indicate particular importance.”inflection and emphasis can change the meaning of what is said”
Use this simple exercise to practice your Emphasising skills.

Lecture 25 Effective Use of Emotion 04:28
Communication is about more than just exchanging information.
It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is also a two-way street. It’s not only how you convey a message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended, it’s also how you listen to gain the full meaning of what’s being said and to make the other person feel heard and understood.
More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, engaged listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.
Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.
While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective communicator.
The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Lecture 26 Empathy in Action 06:42
In order to get more of your conversation partner’s attention in tense situations, pay attention first: listen and give a brief restatement of what you have heard (especially feelings) before you express your own needs or position.
The kind of listening recommended here separates acknowledging from approving or agreeing . Acknowledging another person’s thoughts and feelings does not have to mean that you approve of or agree with that person’s actions or way of experiencing, or that you will do whatever someone asks.

By listening and then repeating back in your own words the essence and feeling of what you have just heard, from the speaker’s point of view, you allow the speaker to feel the satisfaction of being understood, (a major human need). Listening responsively is always worthwhile as a way of letting people know that you care about them. Our conversation partners do not automatically know how well we have understood them, and they may not be very good at asking for confirmation. When a conversation is tense or difficult it is even more important to listen first and acknowledge what you hear.
Otherwise, your chances of being heard by the other person may be very poor.

Lecture 27 Advice on Advicegiving 05:28
I’m embarrassed to say that it’s taken me most of my life to understand this, but it’s true.
Except in very rare situations, giving people advice who haven’t asked for it just doesn’t work – no matter how noble your intentions. In fact, they will often be offended and your very relationship can be damaged.
Unsolicited advice almost always seems judgmental and is therefore unappreciated. So after many years of fiery darts being flung my way, here’s a few things I’ve learned about giving advice:
1. If they don’t ask, don’t give advice. Simple as that.
2. This applies to just about everything, short of stopping people from stepping in front of a moving car.
3. It doesn’t mean people are ungrateful, but people are often embarrassed when reminded of their mistakes or shortcomings. In my experience, most people actually need to see the end result of their wrong thinking. When that happens, it makes a much more powerful and lasting impression.
4. Your advice will be more effective when they’ve seen their mistake, and then come to you.
5. This doesn’t mean you abandon anyone. It simply means you watch, track their progress, keep quiet, and then be ready to answer their questions in a positive, inspiring way.
The impact of your advice isn’t just based on the insight, it’s also based on the timing.
Watch the video, and see if you can relate to what I say?!?

Lecture 28 Appropriate Challenging 09:17
In everyday life, “Challenging someone” can have negative connotations, carrying the idea of conflict and confrontation. In the field of effective communication skills, it means something very different.
Each of us perceives the world differently – we have our own unique ways of interpreting what’s going on, which may involve our own particular way of distorting things, and our own particular blind spots. One person may habitually react to criticism where no criticism is intended, another may fail to notice when they’re being treated unfairly, though they notice it with others.
Challenging is about bringing into focus discrepancies in the other person’s feelings, thinking or behaviour that they are tending to overlook or ignore.
Understanding this can have a huge impact in the quality of our communications.

Lecture 29 The Power of Appropriate Silence 05:49
Silence can mean many things in our communications. It’s ambiguous.
It can express lots of different emotions ranging from joy, happiness, grief, embarrassment to anger, denial, fear, withdrawal of acceptance or love. What it means depends on the context.
Silence allows you to give your undivided attention to the other person. You may give some non-verbal cues that you are hearing, such as nodding your head, smiling, opening or closing your eyes. This method is especially useful when people come to you with strong feelings, either positive or negative. Their first need is simply to share the feelings and to have someone listen.

Lecture 30 Reflection & Paraphrasing 03:36
However good you think your listening skills are, the only person who can tell you if you have understood correctly or not is the speaker. Therefore, as an extension of good listening skills, you need to develop the ability to reflect words and feelings and to clarify that you have understood them correctly.
It is often important that you and the speaker agree that what you understand is a true representation of what was meant to be said.
As well as understanding and reflecting the communication of the speaker it’s important to understanding not only what is being said but the content, feeling & meaning of what people say.
Reflecting is the process of paraphrasing and restating both the feelings and words of the speaker. The purposes of reflecting are:

    [*]To allow the speaker to ‘hear’ their own thoughts and to focus on what they say and feel.

    [*]To show the speaker that you are trying to perceive the world as they see it and that you are doing your best to understand their messages.

    [*]To encourage them to continue talking.

Reflecting does not involve you asking questions, introducing a new topic or leading the conversation in another direction. Speakers are helped through reflecting as it not only allows them to feel understood, but it also gives them the opportunity to focus their ideas.
This in turn helps them to direct their thoughts and further encourages them to continue speaking.
Paraphrasing involves using other words to reflect what the speaker has said. Paraphrasing shows not only that you are listening, but that you are attempting to understand what the speaker is saying.
It is often the case that people ‘hear what they expect to hear’ due to assumptions, stereotyping or prejudices. When paraphrasing, it is of utmost importance that you do not introduce your own ideas or question the speakers thoughts, feelings or actions. Your responses should be non-directive and non-judgemental.
It is very difficult to resist the temptation to ask questions and when this technique is first used, reflecting can seem very stilted and unnatural. You need to practice this skill in order to feel comfortable.

Lecture 31 The Power of Authenticity 05:45
Authenticity is fundamental to effective communications for individuals, teams, and organisations.
Now more than ever, people, leaders, and groups must utilise the power of authenticity in order to build trust, resolve conflicts, and create cohesion.
Although it can be counter-intuitive, some fascinating research in the fields of social psychology and emotional intelligence is proving that being real, honest, and even vulnerable are key elements to individual and group success and engagement.

Lecture 32 Summarising Before Moving On 02:03
Summarising involves taking what someone has said over a prolonged period and putting it in a nutshell – a sentence or a few sentences that condense what might have taken a few minutes or longer to say.
This is a great way to demonstrate to someone that you’ve ACTUALLY been listening to what they’re saying!

Lecture 33 Offering Unconditional Positive Regard 08:24
Of all the skills a communicator has to acquire, unconditional positive regard is by far the most complex and difficult to learn.
Unconditional positive regard requires that someone suspends any form of personal judgment, and accepts someone else without any form of judgement what so ever. A judgment is made in a very short amount of time, and overcoming this instant reaction can be difficult for many people.
Incidently, offering another person Unconditional positive regard can be a great way to begin earning another persons trust.

Lecture 34 Active Listening & Self Disclosure 06:25
The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected and understood. The moment people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.
That’s why it is so important that as good communicators, we develop the skill of Active Listening.
Active listening begins with being truly interested in what the speaker has to say. It means removing distractions from your mind and focusing on the person talking. Start by really concentrating on them and watching for body language, stance, and position of the arms and hands. It is estimated that only 10 percent of actual communication is delivered in spoken words. The rest comes to us in the attitude of the body.
It’s also important that you avoid the temptation to interrupt. More often than not, we interrupt with our own thoughts and ideas-in other words, our own agenda. And one of the most important steps in active listening is providing and receiving feedback. Let the person sharing know with a nod of the head or an affirming word that you understand.
Better yet, restate your understanding of what the person just said after they have finished.

Lecture 35 EXERCISE: End of Section Exercise 02:52
Congratulations on making it thus far!
To celebrate, here’s another short exercise for practicing everything that you’ve learned until now.

Section 4: Core Questioning Skills
Lecture 36 Asking Better Questions 01:14
As you go forth in your quest for knowledge, remember that asking great questions takes practice.
This implies that you probably won’t get it perfect every each outing. Just get started asking questions. Your skills will improve over time. Remember that if you want good answers, they come from asking good questions.

Lecture 37 Open & Closed Questions 04:56
Although there are numerous reasons for asking questions the information we receive back (the answer) will depend very much on the type of question we ask.
Closed questions invite a short focused answer – answers to closed questions can often (but not always) be either right or wrong. Closed questions are usually easy to answer – as the choice of answer is limited – they can be effectively used early in conversations to encourage participation and can be very useful in fact-finding scenarios such as research.
By contrast, to closed questions, open questions allow for much longer responses and therefore potentially more creativity and information. There are lots of different types of open question; some are more closed than others!

Lecture 38 WORKSHEET 3: Translating ‘Yes/No’ Questions 1 page
Translate each of the following “yes-no” questions into an “open-ended” one and see if you can identify problems that might arise from each of the “yes-no” versions?.

Lecture 39 Closed Interrogation Techniques 05:18
We can use Interrogation Techniques to essentially funnel the respondent’s answers by asking a series of questions that become more (or less) restrictive at each step, starting with open questions and ending with closed questions or vice-versa.
For example:

“Tell me about your most recent holiday.”
“What did you see while you were there?”
“Were there any good restaurants?”
“Did you try the local food?”
“Did you try the amazing garlic bread?”

The questions in this example become more restrictive, starting with open questions which allow for very broad answers, at each step the questions become more focused and the answers become more restrictive.
Funnelling can work the other way around, starting with closed questions and working up to more open questions. For an effective counsellor or interrogator, these funnelling techniques can be a very useful tactic to find out the maximum amount of information, by beginning with open questions and then working towards more closed questions.
In contrast, when meeting somebody new it is common to start by asking more closed questions and progressing to open questions as both parties relax.

Lecture 40 Probing Questions 07:11
Probing Questions are intended to help the presenter think more deeply about the issue at hand.
If a probing question doesn’t have that effect, it is either a clarifying question or a recommendation with an upward inflection at the end

Lecture 41 Chunking Up & Chunking Down 06:05
Chunking is a simple technique to use during questioning to vary the level of detail of information you get.
CHUNKING DOWN: Sometimes the person you are talking with is speaking at a very high level, covering general ideas and themes. Leaders often like to think this way, with grand plans and visions.
Sometimes you deliberately started this way, getting a big picture before you dive into detail.
Chunking down is getting more detail by probing for more information about the high-level information you already have. The goal is to find out more of the specific details that will allow you to fill in the empty gaps of your picture.
The more you ask chunking questions, the more you will find further detail. Keep going and you’ll soon end up in the weeds. In fact if you go too deep, you can get lost. A tip: try to stay within three chunking levels for most of the time, digging deeper only on topics of particular interest where you want to bottom out the subject.
Chunk down by asking questions such as:

    [*]How did you that?

    [*]Why did that happen?

    [*]What happened about.?

    [*]What, specifically,.

    [*]Tell me more about.

    [*]What is the root cause of all this?

CHUNKING UP: Sometimes the person you are talking with is already stuck in the details. Some people (most IT Guru’s for example) are happiest when they have their teeth sunk into the grit of a tangible problem. Yet it can help them hugely when they take time to step out of the details and look up to see the bigger picture.
To chunk up, you are doing the opposite of chunking down – looking for a more generalized understanding. This includes looking for overall purpose, meaning, linkages, etc.
Chunk up by asking questions such as:

    [*]What does this mean?

    [*]Let’s look at the bigger picture.

    [*]How does that relate to.?

    [*]What are we trying to achieve here?

    [*]Who is this for? What do they really want?

You can use both methods together as a way of building a broad understanding. For example:

    [*]Start at a high level of chunking to define the initial problem.

    [*]Chunk down to find possible project goals.

    [*]Chunk up to review and agree the project.

    [*]Chunk down to build an understanding of the problem.

    [*]Chunk up to look for problems in the overall system.

    [*]Chunk down to find specific actions to address.


Lecture 42 Relationship Building ‘Softeners’ 06:22
One of the most frustrating experiences I have had when interacting with others is when I receive feedback from someone who decides to use “softeners” instead of being direct in his or her communication.
These “softeners” come in the form of:

    [*]saying “we” when you really mean “I”

    [*]using words such as “kinda”, “sortof”, and “right”

    [*]being indirect in asking for something by saying “would you mind.”

These “softeners” often result in ambiguity and confusion about a person’s intent. Effective communicators and influencers, on the other hand:

    [*]take ownership for their feedback by saying “I” believe,” “I” think,” and “I” feel

    [*]eliminate “kinda,” “sortof,” “right,” and other softeners from their vocabulary

    [*]influence others to take action by saying “please do this” or by asking “will you please do this”

Lecture 43 The Dilemma Diffuser 03:54
When communicating with others, you might become aware of how much time people spend focussing on things that ‘may or may not’ happen. People very commonly concern themselves with the worst possible outcomes that may come about in the context of their day to day situations and circumstances.
In this video i will share one question, which you can use to diffuse virtually any problem that people believe they might have in their futures . for good!

Lecture 44 How Others Might Respond To Our Questions Text
As there are a wide range of questions and question types, there is also a wide range of possible responses.
The list below shows some of the responses that people may have to your questions (based upon how much this person has grown to trust you throughout the communications that you’ve had with them so far):

An Honest Response: This is what the questioner would usually want to achieve from asking their question.
A Lie: The respondent may lie in response to a question. The questioner may be able to pick up on a lie based on plausibility of the answer but also on the non-verbal communication that was used immediately before, during and after the answer is given.
Out of Context: The respondent may say something that is totally unconnected or irrelevant to the question or attempt to change the topic. It may be appropriate to reword a question in these cases.
Partially Answering: People can often be selective about which questions or parts of questions they wish to answer.
Avoiding the Answer: Politicians are especially well known for this trait. When asked a ‘difficult question’ which probably has an answer that would be negative to the politician or their political party, avoidance can be a useful tact. Answering a question with a question or trying to draw attention to some positive aspect of the topic are methods of avoidance.
Stalling: Although similar to avoiding answering a question, stalling can be used when more time is needed to formulate an acceptable answer. One way to do this is to answer the question with another question.
Distortion: People can give distorted answers to questions based on their perceptions of social norms, stereotypes and other forms of bias. Different from lying, respondents may not realise their answers are influenced by bias or they exaggerate in some way to come across as more ‘normal’ or successful. People often exaggerate about their salaries.
Refusal – The respondent may simply refuse to answer, either by remaining silent or by saying, ‘I am not answering’.

Section 5: Advanced Questioning & Communication Skills
Lecture 45 Listening Skills Mini-Workbook 6 pages
It is very important for our physical and psychological well being that we maintain interpersonal relationships with other people in our life.
These relationships are a necessity, not a luxury, and we need to be prepared in order to develop and maintain these critical relationships.
Positive, supportive relationships can help us cope with difficult times in our lives, reduce psychological distress, and increase our general happiness and life satisfaction. Communication can literally be described as the centre of all interpersonal relationships.
The problem is that communication can be very difficult to initiate, so that one can develop and maintain positive relationships with other people. Managing the dynamics of personal relationships can be quite challenging.
Communication is definitely a skill that takes considerable learning and practice to gain a sense of mastery. Personal relationships are at times difficult to maintain because they are extremely complex, constantly changing and very fragile.
That is why it is beneficial to use effective communication skills in personal relationships. Effective communication skills ensure that we will listen actively to what the other person is saying, communicate clearly, negotiate to ensure win-win situations, maintain effective body language and be aware of the countless distortions that may block clear communication between two people.
The good news is that if you feel like you are not a good communicator, you can learn and practice the skills that will help your interpersonal relationships grow and work more effectively.
This short workbook relies on a self-reflective method that you should hopefully find to be quite good fun while you also learn the part that you play in whether your communications with others go well .. Or otherwise!
In reality, ACTIVE LISTENING it is one of the most difficult aspects of effective communication. Active listening takes commitment and knowledge of barriers that are keeping you from listening effectively to others.
The following exercises within this workbook are designed to help you begin thinking about the potential blocks to active listening and take steps in listening effectiveness.

Lecture 46 Agreement & Disagreement Frames 08:12
The Agreement Frame is a communication framework that enables us to elegantly disagree with and convince someone without breaking rapport.
The Agreement Frame is very useful in conflict resolution of all kinds as well as Sales and Negotiation as a way of keep or getting someone on your side.

Lecture 47 A Foolproof Approach To Answering Tough Questions 02:36
There is an approach that all effective communicators use to handle the awkward questions they are asked . it’s simple, effective, and it works every time!

Lecture 48 Imploding Ambiguities 07:41
Each day, we realise that we want many things, we long for others and wish very little, and is common to find dissatisfaction that sometimes what we ask never happens, what we long almost never comes and what we wish hardly is given.
That’s why I want to introduce you to a tool known in NLP as verbal package, which although may sound strange, is no different to learning to properly apply the language to our thinking in order to reach the goal set according to the request we made. This with the purpose to tell to our brain the exact content of what we want, so it never happens again something that is very common, we think of buying or have something and end up getting something very different from our initial thought.
To adequately perform a verbal package, define what we want, which almost always ends up being a material object (house, car, property, vacations) to go breaking down, crumbling and defining in detail by question “which is what we want “?
For this, we will make an example explaining the technique, if what we have thought we want is a car what kind of vehicle do we want? Car, truck or four wheel drive? Three, four or five doors? We ask mechanical or automatic? Standard gear or Tiptronic? With or without air conditioning? Full equipment or not? What color do you want?
If you can get to fully appreciate the exercise, you will notice that each variable we apply, it increasingly narrows the circle of our demand until finally, with all the elements together, the options are minimized and allow you to make the best of the selections, because at that point, there are very few alternatives you have to choose.
It is here that we have what we really want, and if communicate it to our brain ¿why do we worry? (if you do well the exercise you will notice that there is never to worry about) to “how” to get what we set out in the previous section.

Here we pause to think about the variables to obtain our previous selection, and define if we use what we have in the bank as savings, if you request a loan, if financed by leasing, if you ask for money to the aunt who has no where to spend it, if we advance our heritage, if we do a raffle, or any of the options that they cross through your mind is valid to do so.

Lecture 49 Understanding Intonation Patterns 02:53
Speaking and understanding English doesn’t just come from using correct grammar and vocabulary.
Native English speakers convey meaning in their sentences with pitch – the ups and downs and the musical notes of their sentences.
For Example:
The following three sentences contain exactly the same words. But is there a difference in their meanings? Speak these three sentences out and see the difference for yourself:
1) “She got a dog.” (Full stop)
2) “She got a dog?” (Question Mark)
3) “She got a dog!” (Exclamation Mark)
In these two simple sentences, the focus word of the sentence and the specific word that gets the most emphasis – is “dog”. But what happened with the sound of the focus word as you changed the way in which you communicated the statement?
In sentence one, the intonation stayed constant to indicate the completion of the thought.
1) “She got a dog.”
In sentence two, the intonation went way UP, to indicate surprise or question.
2) “She got a dog!”
And in question 3, the intonation pattern went DOWN, to indicate a statement or a command.
The patterns of ups and downs of your voice (and your pitch) on and after the focus word-which is usually at the end of a sentence or question-is called intonation.
In English, there are three intonation patterns which I will demonstrate throughout this video.

Lecture 50 EXERCISE: End of Section Exercise 02:05
This is the 2nd practical exercise of the course . and I must say, it’s a good one!

Section 6: Story, Metaphors & Analogy Telling Skills
Lecture 51 Introduction To Storytelling 01:40
Language is a powerful tool through which leaders can influence. Armed with a good story you can inspire, encourage and energise.

Lecture 52 Storytelling For Perception Shifting 03:08
Storytelling has been around for 1000’s of years and we can probably all remember being captivated by stories in our childhood.
Where the characters come to life and you ‘see’ the rich visual images that your imagination has fabricated. As we get immersed into a story, we begin to become a part of it, our hearts are touched and we can ‘feel’ what the characters are ‘feeling’.

Lecture 53 Self Disclosure: Leading by Example 10:36
So why should leaders and good communicators be outstanding role models who lead by example?
In this video, I’ll hopefully be able to illustrate the answer to this question.

Lecture 54 The ‘Truth, Trust, Time’ Principle 04:53
Did you know that all relationships are built upon trust?
And did you also know that trust is developed over time?
By the end of this video, you’ll understand exactly what I mean by this and also why it’s an important thing to realise.

Lecture 55 The Storytelling Triangle 03:12
Telling a story is a three-way relationship involving you, the story, and the audience. Throughout this video we will represent this relationship in the form of a triangle.

Lecture 56 Philosophical Storytelling 13:07
Plate was an ancient Greek Philosopher – and also an absolutely phenominal soryteller . which I’ll do my very best to illustrate throughout this vido.

Lecture 57 Top 10 Tips for Making Your Storytelling Compelling Text
How do you make your story compelling?
Here are 10 tips for telling a good tale:

    [*]Know your audience – what are their needs and interests, what issues matter to them? If you work in an organisation, listen, ask questions, collect evidence, engage with differing perspectives beforehand.

    [*]Connect by adding a human element to your story.connect the abstract, numbers, data to someone.

    [*]Keep it short, simple and relevant to the context.

    [*]Appeal to shared values and beliefs.

    [*]Be authentic and speak from the heart – your passion and sincerity will shine through.

    [*]Be inclusive and use ‘we’ and not ‘I’ , ‘they’, ‘them’.

    [*]Engross your audience with the use of metaphors, analogies and make use of specific details.

    [*]Bring your characters to life – appearance, occupation, department they work in .

    [*]Base your story on reality.otherwise you will get found out eventually.

    [*]Make use repetition – memorable phrases or sound bites.

Storytelling is a crucial communication strategy and a powerful method for anyone to use. It is especially useful for leaders, for example when leading people into the future, taking them through change, influencing, unifying people towards a common purpose, transmitting values, motivating and inspiring. Incorporating stories into your messages help to develop a shared sense of identity.
Create a story and you are doing more than just ‘telling them’. You can listen to someone tell you to ‘to change’ but it becomes much more powerful if you listen to a story of someone who has gone through change. It creates an empathetic understanding, which enables you to learn and figure out the lesson yourself.
Storytelling brings hard data, facts and figures to life. It is difficult to connect, inspire and get people to act on just logic and reason alone. An emotional engagement results in greater buy-in. You cannot achieve that with a mere PowerPoint.
Can you imagine any of the following being delivered in this way?
“Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up.” (Martin Luther King Jr)
“..and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth” (Abraham Lincoln)
“We shall go on to the end..we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields.”(Winston Churchill)
“And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country” (John F Kennedy)

Lecture 58 The ‘Open Loop’ Storytelling Sequence 15:19
An Open Loop is an unfinished thought or story which will leave your audience on a ‘cliffhanger’ of anticipation, and hungry to hear what happens next.I do my best to illustrate this throughout the video . by telling another story .

Lecture 59 The ‘Closed Loop’ Storytelling Sequence 02:57
What is it about ‘open loops’ that cause people to want and reach for more of whatever your offering?
And about a month ago it dawned on me while watching TV. I was watching a television show that I did not find terribly interesting, and out of nowhere the power went out. The weird thing was that inside I felt this emotional “want” to find out the conclusion to a TV show I did not even find interesting. But the more I thought about this the more I realised that I did not really want to find out what happened, but wanted closure and resolution.
Even though the show was not very good, it had created some unresolved emotional tension in me. The power going out made me aware of my need to release, resolve, and bring closure to this tension.
So, what I have discovered is that the psychological mechanism behind open loops is in creating unresolved emotional tension.
What I have realised is that besides using open loops, there are literally hundreds of ways of creating, and increasing unresolved emotional tension.
It’s this philosophy that most TV soap opera’s are based upon, where although storylines will often be repetitive and boring, it’s the open loops that keep people consistently coming back for more!

Lecture 60 Inception Storytelling Secrets 16:02
If you’ve seen the movie Inception, you may proceed.

If you haven’t seen the movie, you should stop everything you’re doing and go watch it. Right now. Stop reading this.
Great stories move beyond spectacle. By crafting character, plot, and theme in such a way that those concepts bounce meaningfully off each other, they grant audiences a deeper insight into the world around them.
Sometimes there is more to a story than simply beating the bad guy. In fact, in order for a story to be more than simply a tale of exciting exploits, it must find a way to give the audience something it can’t find in the course of their daily lives. Christopher Nolan’s: Inception is one such story.
In order to experience a phenomenal example of Inception Storytelling . Open another browser, buy it on Amazon Instant, and watch it . you could call this extra curricular activity!

Lecture 61 The Comparison Trap 05:09
Instead of comparing yourself to other storytellers or communicators, create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself.
See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made in terms of how you have developed and grown in your abilities over the years.
This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done. You’ll feel much better about yourself as a storyteller without having to think less of how other people tell thier stories!
You can make this habit stick by for instance taking a few minutes each day or just each Sunday (or any day that fits you) to use a journal to write down how you have grown, how much closer you are to your goals now, what you have overcome and learned and so on.
By doing so your thinking will over time shift and your thought patterns will automatically become more focused on comparing you to you rather than to other people.

Section 7: Closing Section & Final Thoughts
Lecture 62 Recommended Reading List 06:07
No good course would ever be complete without it’s very own list of reccmended reads .. so without further a due, here it is!

Lecture 63 Closing Thoughts & Summary 02:44
And this final lecture brings us to a close . for now!
As I mention in this video, I fully appreciate that this course doesn’t cover every single aspect and element of storytelling . however, I have done my very best to include all of the most ‘important stuff.’
If there’s anything that you’d like me to add to this course, please message me directly, as this will allow me to know what additional lectures to add to the course moving forwards.
But other than this, if you’d be willing to take a few minutes and write the course a review (and rate it), I’d be hugely appreciative – as this will enable future students to make a well informed decision as to whether this is the kind of course that would be of benefit to them,
Other than this, get yourself out there and start being an ABSOLUTELY AWESOME COMMUNICATOR – and let me know how you get on
Kindest regards and thanks once again for taking the time to complete this course,

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